u003cpu003eu003ca href=u0022https://pcaaz.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Claire-Louge-e1578935669301.jpgu0022u003eu003cimg class=u0022size-medium wp-image-9328 alignleftu0022 src=u0022https://pcaaz.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Claire-Louge.jpgu0022 alt=u0022u0022 width=u0022232u0022 height=u0022300u0022 /u003eu003c/au003eTwo weeks ago, I had the chance to be on a webinar discussion with Dr. Bruce Perry, who, if you haven’t heard of him, is basically THE authority on u003ca href=u0022https://www.bdperry.com/u0022u003eneuroscience and healing child traumau003c/au003e. He’s also an authentic, genial guy. Dr. Perry talked about what we can do to help families get through this seemingly interminable crisis.u003c/pu003ernu003cpu003eHis answer? u003cstrongu003eOffer hope.u003c/strongu003e u003c/pu003ernu003cpu003eHope is knowing there is a u003cstrongu003epossibility of a positive outcomeu003c/strongu003e. Those without hope have no reason to act. They have no reason to try. Despair, the opposite of hope, locks our minds in the dungeons of our stress response, and when we live there, we are biologically unable to access our wisdom, our compassion, and our resourcefulness - our u003cemu003eresilienceu003c/emu003e. u003cstrongu003eHope is the foundation of resilience, u003c/strongu003eand families need to be resilient now. Children need their families to be resilient now.u003c/pu003ernu003cpu003eI acknowledge offering hope may be hard. This pandemic is a barrage of changed plans. We’re grieving the loss of things we had looked forward to, like seeing your child graduate (or yourself!), going to a wedding (or getting married!), or any other meaningful event. It hurts. Give yourself time to recover from that hurt, to vent that hurt to those who support you. In turn, offer space to witness that hurt in others. Then, after that pain is acknowledged and felt, u003cstrongu003edig for hope.u003c/strongu003eu003c/pu003ernu003cpu003eThen, share that hope with families. I’m not talking about false positivity, or being inauthentically sunny in the face of tragedy. When a family shares with you their anger, frustration, despair, or any negative emotion, acknowledge the real difficulty of those emotions, but u003cstrongu003edon’t join inu003c/strongu003e. Instead, u003cstrongu003eoffer evidence of good things being done, and good things to comeu003c/strongu003e.u003ca href=u0022https://pcaaz.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/child-holding-clear-glass-jar-with-yellow-light-2026960-scaled.jpgu0022u003eu003cimg class=u0022 wp-image-9584 alignrightu0022 src=u0022https://pcaaz.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/child-holding-clear-glass-jar-with-yellow-light-2026960.jpgu0022 alt=u0022u0022 width=u0022261u0022 height=u0022393u0022 /u003eu003c/au003eu003c/pu003ernu003cpu003eu003cstrongu003ePersistently point out the strengthsu003c/strongu003e that you see in families. Those are the tools they’re using to get through things, and pointing them out makes those tools hardier. u003cstrongu003eAcknowledge the heroic worku003c/strongu003e of the people who are helping us get through this. u003cstrongu003eCall out the things being doneu003c/strongu003e to move us to solutions.u003c/pu003ernu003cpu003eIn case you need some hope examples, here are the things that are bringing me hope:u003c/pu003ernu003culu003erntu003cliu003eThe u003cstrongu003eepic generosityu003c/strongu003e that I see. Some people who are financially stable have donated part or all of their stimulus check to nonprofits, including Prevent Child Abuse Arizona.u003c/liu003erntu003cliu003eThe u003cstrongu003etireless worku003c/strongu003e of the people in our health care system and scientists working on a vaccineu003c/liu003erntu003cliu003eThe u003cstrongu003evaliantly creativeu003c/strongu003e ways people have continued to connect with one another (we’re all master’s level Zoom users now)u003c/liu003erntu003cliu003eOur u003cstrongu003ecollective, patriotic effortu003c/strongu003e to physically distance working to prevent the spreadu003c/liu003ernu003c/ulu003ernu003cpu003eWhat’s bringing you hope? Dig deep if you need to. Share that hope with families. u003cstrongu003eBe a hope-bringer.u003c/strongu003e That hope is the fuel of a u003cstrongu003ebetter now and a better future.u003c/strongu003eu003c/pu003e
