u003cemu003eu003cstrongu003eWritten by Executive Director Claire Lougeu003c/strongu003eu003c/emu003ernrnu003ca href=u0022https://pcaaz.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/pexels-nicole-michalou-5774920-scaled.jpgu0022u003eu003cimg class=u0022size-medium wp-image-12971 alignleftu0022 src=u0022https://pcaaz.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/pexels-nicole-michalou-5774920.jpgu0022 alt=u0022u0022 width=u0022300u0022 height=u0022200u0022 /u003eu003c/au003eIn November, Prevent Child Abuse America celebrated its 50-year anniversary in Chicago. The celebration included a discussion with Dr. Bruce Perry, who is a member of the board, and Oprah Winfrey, who is, well, Oprah.rnrnAs is quite typical of her, in her address to the crowd, Oprah said something deeply meaningful. She talked about one thing that all children need. u003cstrongu003eAnd that one thing blew my mind.u003c/strongu003e It’s simple. It’s free. It takes only a second. And it’s the best gift that we can give to kids in our lives, all year round. It’s also the best gift we can give to u003cemu003eeach otheru003c/emu003e. And the presence of this gift is ultimately what our work is working to achieve.rnrnWhat is this gift?rnrnThis gift answers ‘yes’ to the following question:rnrnu003cstrongu003eu003cemu003eDo your eyes light up when I enter the room?u003c/emu003eu003c/strongu003ernrnu003cstrongu003eLighting up when you see someoneu003c/strongu003e. u003cstrongu003eThat’s it.u003c/strongu003ernrnThink about what it feels like when someone lights up when they see you. Imagine you’re coming home from work, and a family member beams when they see you coming through the door. Or imagine if you’re at a conference, and you walk in knowing no one, and a colleague spots you, lights up, and calls your name. Or imagine simply making eye contact with a stranger at a grocery store and they give you a hello and a warm smile.rnrnHow does that feel? It feels like you’re u003cemu003ewelcome to be thereu003c/emu003e. It feels like you’re u003cemu003econnectedu003c/emu003e. It feels like you’re u003cemu003esafeu003c/emu003e. It feels like you’re u003cemu003elovedu003c/emu003e. Kids need that. Everyone needs that. That feeling is the common thread that runs among all u003ca href=u0022https://www.childandadolescent.org/positive-childhood-experiences/u0022u003ePositive Childhood Experiencesu003c/au003e, which have been shown to powerfully combat negative effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences. u003cstrongu003eWhen someone lights up when they see you, you feel like you u003cemu003ebelongu003c/emu003e.u003c/strongu003e And belongingness is a fundamental human need. It’s foundational to our well-being, and to our success, however we choose to define that.rnrnSo I invite you to practice. This holiday season, be conscious of what you do when you first see someone. You probably already light up when you see people you love, but perhaps not all the time. Maybe something is on your mind and distracting you. Maybe it’s a to do list, or a problem you’re working through in your head. Try to put that aside for a moment. When you first see someone, especially a child in your life, take a second to consciously, presently light up. Because in that one second is the most powerful human gift: u003cstrongu003ethe gift of feeling safe, loved, and belonging. u003c/strongu003ernrnWe all need that. And we all can give it.
